Okay so I know some of you are really depressed because I did not post for couple of days and are curious about my crazy adventures here. I think its radical (yeah I am bringing that word back) that people are so interested about me in Japan.
I have been spending a lot of time preparing for the Japanese placement exam, which I took yesterday.
So how did I do? CRAPPY! The section that was for beginning level was pretty easy. I knew all the kanji and their compounds and the vocabulary. The grammar was okay but it started getting REALLY harder at the very end. The second section for intermediate level was very difficult. I knew about 80% of the Kanji their compounds and vocabulary. The grammar portion kicked my butt though. Half of the time I did not even understand what was being said or I was confused with the conjugation.
So what does this mean? This is what my problem with Japanese is. I know the kanji, I know the vocabulary, but putting it together in a sentence to illustrate a thought or action is something I cannot do. If I knew all the kanji and Japanese words but cannot use them in a sentence then how can I speak of read Japanese? I cannot. So basically I think I am going to have to start at a lower level then what I wanted to do this semester. This class does not start at the very beginning of Japanese; it’s more of a 2nd year course. Some of the books they use are used in the 3rd year course at KU, where I would be if I were back at KU. Though some of the kanji and vocabulary, probably most, will be review for me in this course I need to know the grammar structures that are probably taught in this course. The next semester I would begin the course I intended to take this semester. I figure I can spend the time that may be review for me learning more kanji and practicing reading and translating.
So how do I feel about this? I am really frustrated. It is a real damper on my self-esteem. Sometimes its gets to the point were I almost cry cause I am just so upset that I cannot get this.
So what am I going to do about it? I think the problem has been trying to find a way to study or really just having the time to focus solely on Japanese. Focusing I do not think it will be an issue. I am pretty focused on learning Japanese right now. In the 6 days I have been here I have learned a lot already just because there is no way around and you have to use your Japanese. Also I have bought some book on nanban igaku that I found and plan on trying to slowly go through it since that is really what I am interested in.
I am trying . . . but the notion of failure is so scary in my mind that I try not to think about it. Especially, when I think about how focused mine and Erin’s lives have been on getting this degree. Erin has had to do a lot of sacrificing and I do not want it to all be all for nothing. If anything I find the biggest motivation making sure Erin did not have to go through all of this for nothing.
Next week I go to find out my test results and what class I will be in. I guess we will see what happens then.
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3 comments:
It's totally normal to feel inadequate during a time like this. Just remember that you have a much higher chance of success simply due to the fact that you are now in Japan and surrounded by native speakers.
Hey Tom,
I know that you are probably frustrated beyond belief. However, what you are experiencing is what most that learn another language go through. I had to learn the hard way when I try and speak my own lauguages. My cousins tend to laugh when I speak. Just keep trying...you will get the hang of it! Miss you!
Tom, I haven't known you to quit or fail at anything. Can you honestly say that you know ENGLISH to your satisfaction? Set an attainable goal, and meet it. Then, set your next. YOU'RE IN JAPAN! How many Americans can say they've been there? So you're a fresh water fish in a salt water aquarium. You'll acclimate. Cut yourself some slack.
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